


Dr. And Mrs. Song

by hanorganaas



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Angst and Humor, Community: hc_bingo, Dark Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-02
Updated: 2011-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-23 09:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River and Doctor engage in a ritual dance which accidently binds them as mates for life. HC_Bingo Square: "Accidental Mating For Life"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dr. And Mrs. Song

The man known by all as simply the Doctor, was usually well versed when it came to other cultures. But not as well versed as he thought. Apparently he didn't study well enough to know that within Olakin culture a male and a female following a simple ritual dance meant they were in Earth terms husband and wife.

If the Doctor knew that he would have turned down that dance from that pretty blonde curly haired lady in the first place....ESPECIALLY if the said lady was River Song.

Well it was not that he hated River. In fact he was secretly enamored by her rather.......wild personality but considering what The Doctor's profession entails and their history, (she kills him supposedly, he watches her die, he travels with her parents and she comes out of no where at the most random moments), a relationship would be...rather....complicated.

But he seemed to have no choice in the matter....already the natives were cheering and throwing flower petals at them.

"This is all a misunderstanding!" The Doctor said as he stood on a table raising his hands in the air his two hearts pounding like a drummer in the midst of a epic solo, "Miss Song and I are just friends!"                                                                                                                                

"How flattering," River said as she stood on the side crossing her arms, "not even married for a minute and already he wants a divorce."

"No you are mates!" Stelia the high priestess and the leader of the Olakin people remarked raising her staff, "you consented in the Dance of the Joining of The Souls, permanently joining you both for life as partners."

"Well is there anyway to Veto it?" The Doctor replied beginning to inwardly panic. It was true he could fix anything in the universe with a snap of his fingers, but it seemed not even his sonic screw driver could fix this.

"Well are the brides parents here? If they disapprove of this marriage we shall break the bond."

The Doctor simply lifted his finger and pointed at the back of the crowd where his two current companions Amy and Rory stood waiting by the TARDIS. The whole crowd turned to face them waiting for an answer. The couple looked at each other before turning to face the crowd and a frantic doctor.    

"My husband and I are not going to lie Doctor," Amy said, "we always did think you and River would make a great couple..."

"They approve which means the bond remains in tact!"

The Doctor glared at the two of them.

"I'm bringing you two back to London when this is over Pond!" He growled, "it doesn't matter I REFUSE to accept this.......mating pact you trapped me in!"

"For heavens sakes sweetie," River said casually waving her hand through the air, "let it go, you know that I love you and I know for sure you love me so we spend eternity together nothing wrong with that."

"See your partner accepts," Stelia said again now looking at the Doctor with dark eyes, "but either way no matter how much you refuse it is still binding, check your arm."

The Doctor lifted his sleeve. His eyes widened in horror at the sight. There in dark black ink tattooed on this arm said RIVER SONG. How it got there without him noticing was beyond him, but either way it wouldn't be there for long.

"Well I can fix that!" The Doctor said simply pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket, "You underestimate my abilities."

He pointed his ever so trusty screwdriver at the tattoo. The tool came to life erasing the mark from his skin. But relief soon turned to horror when the simple design of Rivers name reappeared like magic. He repeated the process again and the same results occurred. But he still had hope there was someway he can break the bond.    

"Well no matter," He said aloud putting his screwdriver back in his pocket, "You all don't realize I'm a time lord, at some point I will regenerate into a completely different person and when that happens-"

"Don't even count on it Doctor," The Priestess said again, "we know of your kind this bond will be forever etched on you no matter how many times you change."  
   
It was then the Doctor realized he was totally completely and utterly....screwed. He was now in a pickle that not even his sonic screwdriver could fix.

"Excuse me," River said now stepping on the table beside her new......mate, "but The Doctor and I need to speak alone."

"You can't expect us all to leave! This is holy ground!"

River snarled and simply whipped out her own Sonic Screwdriver. She pointed it at the tree causing it to simply to fall. The inhabitants of the Olakin people, including the priestess to disperse shrieking as the Tree just missed knocking over the the TARDIS itself. Amy and Rory stood with their mouths gaped staring at their daughter with shock.

River just gave them a stern look as the Doctor began to rub his temples.

"Amy I think we should get in the TARDIS," Rory said opening the blue doors.

"Right behind you," Amy said as her husband ushered her inside.

The moment the doors closed River folded her arms over her chest.

"Oh don't give me that look Mrs. Robinson," The Doctor Scowled, "you should know just as well as me that WE can't be life parters."

"And why not?" She replied.

"Um because of our history together and the fact we're time lords that travel separately, you pop up at random moments I never know which point in the past the River I am speaking to is from."

"Then I'll travel with you for now on."

"I don't how it will work. I mean what if we come across a past version of yourself?! And I am not going to look like this forever some time the road I am going to hav-"

River just put a finger to his lips silencing him.

"Sweetie would you just listen for a moment. I know this bond is complicated considering our lives. But let me admit it to you Doctor, I love you, I love you in a way I have not towards other men in my life. And the look in your eyes I see every time we cross paths tells me you feel the same     way."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. Oh she had been the only other being he came across that read him like a book.

"Caught me, I mean it's a good thing I am found of you then all hell would have broken lose to moment that Priestess character......who reminds me of another priestess from Pompeii I met during my travels...anyway back on the subject..I still have doubts."

"Well," River said wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "we do love each other don't we?"

By now the Doctor was used to her embrace. They have been this close in contact many times before, but never nothing more than just a kiss. So he comfortably wrapped his arms around her.

"Yes."

"If we love each other we can find a way to beat the odds."  

"Alright we'll give it the old college try, are you in?"

They moved their faces closer, lips only a breath away from a kiss.

"As long as you are."

Their lips then touched and all the stars in the galaxy didn't shine as bright as they did at very moment.

                                                                     

**Author's Note:**

> Hope You Enjoyed


End file.
